I’ll be honest. I was very worried about Donald Glover’s departure from Community. Troy has been one of the most consistently funny characters, and losing him from the weekly roster has the potential to derail what has been one of the best seasons of the show thus far. By the end of “Analysis of Cork Based Networking”, I found myself forgetting his absence entirely – It was that good.
Note: All those related to the Bravermans by marriage, blood, or adoption are eligible whether or not they carry the surname. Sadly, this means Ray Romano doesn’t count, which might actually be a good thing since he would be Number 1 every week. This was a tough week – No Drew, no Amber, and lots of heartache. Let’s dive right in.
Fox’s Tuesday Night comedy block is 75% awesome. We will rank each show accordingly week by week.
This week’s episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine was actually an improvement over last week, but still not great. The setup for the case of the week is an undercover sting operation to bust a steroid ring centered at a gym called Brooklyn Total Body. The target is Brandon Jacoby, who Peralta and Boyle believe can lead them to the supplier of the drugs. The plan is to bring Terry, “The Ebony Falcon” in to act as a trainer, since he is ripped and looks like a body-builder anyways. To me Terry Crews will always be The Old Spice Guy. Or the guy from White Chicks who did this.
Meanwhile, Gina’s apartment has been broken into, and Rosa and Santiago are brought in to work the case. While this plot line kind of sucked overall, the list of stolen items is worth mentioning:
- $160 in cash
- one tv
- one large painting of a naked lady on a lion
- one set of Joseph Gordon-Levitt nesting dolls (homemade and irreplaceable)
- one music box that plays, “She Works Hard for the Money” when opened
- and one knockoff designer clutch
In the end the case is not solved, but the girls install locks on Gina’s windows and door, and bond over being girls and being afraid. Ugh.
Before going undercover Jake sees Terry’s daughters and fears for his safety. He then goes on to blow the undercover sting operation, and set up another sting operation without the Sergeant’s knowledge. Whether it was allowing the Pontiac Bandit to get away, or messing this case up twice, it seems like Peralta is really terrible at his job. I preferred the version of Brooklyn Nine-Nine where we were on Peralta’s side because even though he was annoying, he was a good cop. Now that he’s annoying and bad at his job, he comes off as completely unlikeable.
2. New Girl – Birthday
New Girl was great this week. In fact, I was ready to put it in the #1 spot until The Mindy Project came in with a “Winter Finale” that forced itself to the top, but we’ll get to that.
The episode opens on the eve of Jess’s birthday, with Cece and Angela from The Office (who I guess is one of Jess’s friends now even though she was a horribly mean coworker?) toasting the birthday girl. It is explained how Jess always spends her birthday alone at the movies, so as not to be inevitably disappointed. This year she is trusting Nick to provide her with a birthday celebration. Unfortunately Nick has only planned the surprise party at night, and nothing leading up to it. He figures he’ll be ok, since they’ll probably sleep in until noon. Then the alarm goes off at 7:00am.
|This is the hour of my birth|
With no plans, Nick inevitably lets Jess down. Not before she steals a birthday from a young girl in Griffith Park though. She ends up crying and running away to the movie theatre.
Meanwhile, due to a slight mixup with the cake Winston and Coach have an adorable bake off back at the house. These two competing, realizing they care about each other, and then bro’ing out was fun to watch. Not as fun to watch was Cece screwing up her new bartender job but being helped out by Schmidt. Are we to just completely forgetting about Schmidt crashing Cece’s wedding and then cheating on her because he taught her how to make a Manhattan? I guess if Cece can get over it, so should we.
Although the logistics of the movie theatre plan are entirely confusing to me (Was the plan always to go to the movie theatre? No because of the decorations right? Then how did Nick have time to tape letters under every seat? And how did everyone beat Jess there? And how did they get the projectionist to play Nick’s tape? If the plan was always to go to the movies, still, how did everyone beat Jess there?) the outcome was so heartfelt I couldn’t help but smile. The video was beautiful, and Jess’s proclamation that it was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for her felt genuine. Prior to this season there was some worry about if Nick and Jess had been paired off to early, but thus far the show has kept them interesting and avoided the rut that other romantic sitcom pairings has led to.
1. The Mindy Project – The Desert
This was The Mindy Project‘s “Winter Finale” which I did not even know was a thing. But knowing that going in, there was bound to be some fireworks.
Mindy and Danny are still in LA, and Mindy is heartbroken about her recent breakup with Cliff. Honestly, I am a little surprised that she is so heartbroken. I feel like they’ve only been together for a total of 2-3 episodes, and the timeline makes it seem like she could get over this one relatively quickly. At any rate, her plan is to get back to New York as soon as possible to convince Cliff that they belong together.
At the end of the last episode we were left with Danny calling his father. His plan is to go confront his dad and punch him in the face. Not wanting to face him alone he kidnaps Mindy for the trip. When he arrives, he is shocked to find out that he has a sister, Danni Castellano (you would think his brother would have told him about her) and rather than knock his dad out, he wanders out into the desert and gets drunk, like any rational human would do.
Danny calls Mindy, because she is the one he knows he can trust, and she goes and saves him. They fight in the desert before stumbling upon the military base where Danny’s dad cuts hair. In the end, Danny reconnects with his family, and is thankful to Mindy for helping him do so.
Meanwhile, Morgan and Dr. P have been comforting a distraught Cliff, who is heartbroken over losing Mindy. Again, it seems like they dated for a couple months and he dumped her, so I am not sure why he is so upset, but let’s go with it.
And then, there was the plane ride. Danny helps Mindy craft an email to win Cliff back. Adorably, it is apparent that the feelings Danny is telling Mindy to express are really his own feelings for his colleague. Some slight turbulence helps him to realize his true feelings, and he goes to the back of the plane and kisses Mindy in an extremely passionate manor. As this is the “Winter Finale” we will have to wait until April 1st (or will we? April Fools!) for a resolution. Obviously things are going to get pretty messy as Mindy will now likely be deciding between Danny and Cliff, who at the episode’s end decides he wants Mindy back. The show will also presumably have to plan for a satisfying series finale, as a third season has yet to be announced, and seems unlikely. We will miss you Mindy, see you in a few months.
This week – boats, soccer, bungee jumping, pool parties, and so much more! (Actually not that much more)
Chris Harrison, wearing a questionable shirt, shows up with the first “one on one” date invite
|You would think a former NBA Dancer would know how to dance?|
The group date is soccer-themed, because Juan Pablo used to play soccer, so obviously
Juan Pablo and Andi shared an intimate kiss behind a concession stand
|This may be Sharleen’s first kiss ever|
Chelsie gets the second “one on one” date
|You cannot unsee this GIF|
|Elise is 27 and Chelsie is 24. What a baby.|
|Author’s note: As a professional front seat car dancer this personally offends me|
And after what seems like forever, Chelsie finally jumps off a bridge
|“I’ve never had a first kiss hanging upside down off a bridge” – Really Chelsie?|
They forego the cocktail party for a pool party
Until next week, please enjoy Juan Pablo endlessly spraying Champagne
The first season of Hannibal was surprisingly excellent. It was disturbing, gross, and rarely watched by me at nighttime. Today NBC released a trailer for Season 2, in which we find Will Graham behind bars. Let’s deconstruct it together.
Note: All those related to the Bravermans by marriage, blood, or adoption are eligible whether or not they carry the surname. Sadly, this means Ray Romano doesn’t count, which might actually be a good thing since he would be Number 1 every week.
|I’m moving on with or without you Zeek|
2. Drew – You may think that Drew should be ranked lower given that he’s falling back in with Amy, but for now, he has all the power in the relationship. Keep that upper hand as long as possible Drew.
|I am in too high of demand right now|
3. Amber – Amber spiraling out of control is still Amber, and she’s awesome. Also, before trying to drive drunk, she does well telling off this dude in the bar.
|You know what, I think a move is a good idea. In fact, I think I’m going to move down tot his side of the bar, and you can stay here|
4. Adam – Adam is the rock of this season. In the first few episodes we saw him taking care of Max, and now he moves on to take care of Hank (albeit for somewhat selfish reasons.)
|Jump Ball? C’mon I think it’s pretty obvious you’re on the spectrum Hank|
5. Seth – A surprise new addition to the Power Rankings. He earned his spot this week by saving Amber from driving home drunk and letting her crash at his place.
|I think you should be more afraid that you’re like your mom than me|
Honorable Mentions: Joel, for cutting ties with Julia and Crosby, for being Crosby.
Although Community is billed as a comedy, it sometimes hits very dramatic and dark notes, as was the case in this most recent episode. After returning from Pierce’s funeral, which was run by the bizarre cult that Pierce was a member of, the study group is approached by his attorney, Mr. Stone. No matter how natural his death may have seemed, Pierce requires that everyone in the group be put to a polygraph test to determine whether or not they had any part in killing him.
The questions turn out to all be leading questions which bring to light some of the groups darkest secrets. This leads to the study group revealing each other’s secrets, and ultimately, outing themselves. In the end, Pierce leaves each member of the group with a compliment, something meaningful, and sperm. Here is the full list of everything we learned about the group tonight as well as what they inherited from their departed friend.
– Britta has had thoughts of violence towards Pierce, but she figures everyone has thought of slapping him at least once
– Britta was high on marijuana at Shirley’s son’s baptism (higher than usual)
– Britta invited Garret to Annie’s birthday party
– Britta only gives money to homeless people when she’s walking with Someone
– Pierce leaves Britta his iPod Nano, as well as his frozen sperm in case she ever gives up the lesbian thing and decides she wants an army of super babies
– Shirley is a Platinum level donor with the Pro-Life Organization prenatalpatriots.org (not a real website I checked)
– To save money, Shirley put “Meat-fu” in Britta’s Tofu sandwiches
– Shirley thinks the rest of the study group is all going to hell
– When Troy and Shirley are alone Shirley refers to everyone else as “those people”
– Shirley can be passive aggressive sometimes (no one is surprised)
– Pircece leaves Shirley his spacious timeshare in Florida for what’s his name and however many kids she has now – also sperm.
– Annie overcharges Troy and Abed for their share of the rent by $10
– Annie also dosed the members of the study group with a pharmaceutical amphetamine one night to get them to study
– Annie calls Jeff her Uncle (I think when she’s with other females – for the life of me I couldn’t understand what Shirley said)
– Annie is the one who hit Jeff’s Lexus in the parking lot, not a taco truck and it was weird that she went a little racist with her blame
– Pierce leaves Annie a tiara that he used to wear when his mom was upset with him for not being a girl – and of course, sperm
– Jeff is sure that he’s not gay
– Jeff keeps trophies of his sexual conquests (including Britta’s panties) According to Jeff, “They have to be won in battle”
– Jeff made Abed apply for handicapped parking so he could get a better spot
– Jeff would rather look at himself naked than the women he sleeps with
– Pierce left Jeff a nice bottle of scotch, but only so he is not tempted to drink the sperm which Pierce left for him.
– Abed and Troy still use Jeff’s Netflix account without his permission, and continue to rate “The Grey” lower than Jeff
– Abed planted Geo-tracking devices on everyone in the group so he would know where they are at all times (they’ll never find them)
– Abed is catfishing Annie, posing as Olympic pole-vaulting hopeful Brent Underjaw – He does this for pancakes
– When anybody chews gum, Abed wants to punch them, they may as well have machine guns in their mouths – It vibrates his skull
– Pierce never understood Abed, and leaves him only sperm
– Troy got angry when he heard Fat Albert died of diabetes
– Troy and Abed have an elaborate escape plan to be used in the event of Zombie attacks – it does not include the rest of the group
– Troy and Abed’s handshake came from a video blog called “Fun 4 Friends”
– Troy won’t sit on a toilet seat after Jeff
– Troy’s never been to Legoland
– Pierce leaves Troy the mandatory sperm, but he also leaves him his remaining shares in the Hawthorne Wipes company, valued at 14.3 million dollars, on one condition – Troy must first sail Pierce’s boat, the Childish Tycoon, by himself, around the entire world.
This last bit of information was the biggest blow of the night, and I am not sure how Community will really function without Donald Glover. Honestly I would much rather watch a show about Troy learning and then attempting to sail around the world. Can somebody please make this spinoff happen? Thanks.
Also, Pierce died from dehydration, from all of the sperm he has donated.
The opening scene for Brooklyn Nine-Nine was perhaps the best part of this episode. I love the idea of a horse named Sergeant Peanut Butter outshining (and outranking!) Boyle. The later references made me chuckle, and I’m hoping like Lil’ Sebastian before him, Sgt. Peanut Butter can become a recurring in-joke/ reference on the show.
Unfortunately, the rest of the show was not clicking tonight, which is a shame considering it just WON TWO GOLDEN GLOBES (What?) The bet that was set up in the Series Premiere comes to an end, and Jake wins with a last minute prostitution sting bust. If he lost, he would need to give Detective Santiago his car, but since he won, he gets to spend $1400 on taking her on an embarrassing date? Although he has just won possibly the most uneven bet in the world, he can’t help but celebrate.
It was a shame that the episode pairing Jake and Santiago was right on the heels of a great episode featuring him and Rosa working together. The chemistry between Jake and Rosa was so much stronger. I don’t think I can get behind this new ship.
The rest of the episode was full of comedy cliches, whether it was Captain Holt making things worse for Sgt. Terry while trying to make things better, or the plot device of a character who for some reason can only tell the truth (Boyle.) I know plenty of people who have taken pain meds, and this is NOT a side effect.
C’mon Golden Globe winner Brooklyn Nine-Nine. You can do better.
2. New Girl – Basketball
Another week, another perfectly good but unexceptional episode of New Girl. Jess really wants to be friends with Coach, and all he wants to do is watch Detroit Pistons games. So she decides she will pretend to be a Pistons fan and bond with him through sports.
In reality Coach would have realized Jess knows nothing about basketball within the first 30 minutes of watching a game with her, but comedies don’t need to be realistic, and I liked the further development of their relationship. There were some genuinely funny moments between Nick and Jess when they were withholding sex from each other as well. Nick’s seduction techniques were on point, and I love how weird these two can be together.
The storyline revolving around Schmidt and Winston had some good comedy as well. I’m not really buying CeCe suddenly just being the bartender, and is Winston really going to just up and become a cop? Or is the joke going to be that he will have a different job every week? C’mon New Girl writers, Winston deserves better. The rivalry between Schmidt and Ed worked well, and I wouldn’t mind seeing Ed come back as a nemesis for Schmidt in later episodes.
Solid work New Girl.
1. The Mindy Project – L.A
It’s always funny when a show that is filmed in Los Angeles but set elsewhere (usually New York) has their characters go to L.A. for some reason. It’s like for the first time the director can shoot outdoor scenes and you just know they will try to take full advantage of it.
So the team will travel to LA for the Southland Injectable Conference. I’m not sure what OBGYN’s are doing injecting Botox into women (vaginal facelifts perhaps?) or why anybody from Mindy needs to get certified. Are gynecologists doing plastic surgery on the side now? I honestly don’t know. Seriously, somebody tell me. As someone who watched all eight seasons of Entourage with growing frustration, I did appreciate the references throughout. Although it is a shame there was no cameo from Jerry Ferrara. Instead, we got Kevin Smith, playing a bitter fat-shaming version of himself. Oh well.
The return of Anders Holm’s Casey to the show may be the real reason why Mindy won the week. His character always made me laugh, and I love his transformation from Pastor to a much more recognizable Ders from Workaholics. I respect that while this show is functioning as a comedy, it also has a forward moving plot. Whereas New Girl and Brooklyn Nine-Nine seemed to tread water this week, on The Mindy Project we saw Mindy and Cliff break up, and Danny reach out to his father. The jokes are often hit or miss, but this week there was more hit than miss and the emotions felt earned. Way to go Mindy, keep up the good work.